We stayed at the Hospital until 2am on Tuesday night. Martha had been settled since her episode earlier that afternoon and they had began feeding her again.
We got back to the accommodation and I think we fell asleep immediately, exhausted.
I woke at 7am and made my usual call to Martha's bed phone.
Her nurse told me that she was fast asleep, but she'd had another episode of de-saturation shortly after we left and the decision had been made to stop her feed.
When I hung up the phone I wasn't sure if I'd heard right. Then I was struck by the immense sense of guilt that again my baby had struggled while I was fast asleep and completely unaware that she needed me.
I lay in bed for what seemed like an eternity. I desperately wanted to go see my baby girl, but I was too afraid of what would greet me when I arrived. I reasoned that if she was sedated they wasn't much I could do even if I was there. I finally found the courage to make my way there a short while later.
She was sound asleep but would stir intermittently. I just sat at her bedside stroking her cheek, gently soothing her each time she got upset.
Once the ward rounds were done, Dr Mangat arrived. He hoped the Amiodarone would have slowed the flutter over night and that he would be able to override her Pacemaker, but no joy.
The decision was made to Intubate her and use an external Cardioverter to catch a beat of the flutter and shock it back in to a normal rhythm. We were asked to leave.
Time drags and drags when you don't know how long something sbould actually take. I desperately wanted to know if their attempts had been successful. Dr Mangat had already told me that I was right to be worried about her condition, but even if the cardioverter was unsuccessful - there was other things they could try before we ran out of options.
At the end of two hours we chanced our luck and walked back to Martha's bay. Everyone but the float nurse had left her bedspace.
"So the cardioverter worked" she said
I could have fallen to my knees - relief. I went to call Mark immediately; finally I had some good news for him.
The rest of the day was uneventful. They kept her sedated so she could rest, more importanly so her heart could rest. They resumed her feeds and began the TPN. Shortly after 11:30pm we made our way back to the accommodation, praying all the way for a peaceful night.
I called the Hospital at 7am this morning to see if my prayer had been answered.
Finally - he's listening. Although they had stopped her feeds during the night because her mixed venus was very low; she had behaved the rest of the time. They'd also given her another ECG to make sure she hadn't reverted to a flutter - which she hadn't.
During ward rounds it was decided that they'd be taking her chest drains out. Which was done successfully just after lunch.
For the rest of the day the main priority was keeping Martha rested and comfortable; not the easiest job in the world while she's intubated but we managed.
Praying I don't pay the price for such a good day with a horrific day tomorrow.
GM
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