We're still waiting for a letter from Great Ormond Street with the
date for Martha's next operation. I'm hoping and praying its well before
December. I hate not being able to look forward to Christmas like I usually do.
I love this time of year, the nights becoming darker a lot
earlier, snuggling up on the sofa drinking hot drinks wrapped up in layers,
loads of Christmassy films on TV. Having kids just makes this time of year a
lot more exiting.
When I was little I used to feel sorry for my parents; Santa would
bring us kids huge piles of presents but there wasn't anything for them apart
from the gifts (1 each) us kids would have bought them. I used to wonder how
was that fair? Did it make them sad? Did the even enjoy Christmas?
But since having kids myself I've learnt that the excitement of
Christmas comes from seeing how happy the
kids are. When you buy the "Main
present", the one they've been going on about for weeks, you imagine
seeing their little faces on Christmas morning when they open it. On Christmas
Eve when you lay out all the presents in piles, drink the Milk, eat the
Biscuits to make like Santa has been - you just want it to be morning so
they'll wake up and you can revel in their happiness; knowing you made that
happen. That in my opinion is the best Christmas gift I could ever have - happy
Children on Christmas morning.
A couple of years ago Osh had wanted this particular toy, it was
almost £70 which I thought was a bit expensive for one single present, I was
actually considering not buying it at all. Then I remembered when I was a
little girl, it didn't matter what I asked Santa for - I always got it. My
Karaoke machine, "My Baby All Gone", a Pram for my Dolly's - Santa
always brought them; so why should it be any different for Osh? I was the
eldest of three, it's only as I reached my teens did I start to wonder how the
hell could my parents afford it.
Every year since I've been a Mammi I've saved for Christmas, I put
a set amount aside each month ready for Christmas so that I'd never have to
worry about what expensive gift they've asked for - the money was there ready
to make their Christmas the kind they deserve. I'll be the first to admit, we
do go a little OTT at Christmas, but we don't exactly spoil the kids through
the year (we're not stingy either) so it's only right they're spoilt at
Christmas, I want them to have magical Christmases where Santa brings them
everything they've asked for. I start saving in December for Christmas the
following year; I couldn't enjoy the run up to Christmas if I didn't have the
money set aside to pay for it. I enjoy the guilt free shopping. Actually, I
enjoy all kinds of shopping - even just "window shopping", but
Christmas shopping; when it's cold outside, the shops are decorated in tinsel &
twinkly lights and playing Christmas
songs, stopping at a cafe for a warming mug of hot chocolate and a slice of
cake – now that's the best kind of shopping.
Isabella doesn't quite understand Christmas yet, she is far too
young to grasp the concept of Father Christmas and of waking up to presents.
Osh on the other hand has been going on about it since his Birthday at the end
of May; each time there's a toy advertised on TV he wants it. I can't say I'm
taking much notice at the moment because I know that between now and Christmas
there will be more toys being brought out which will of course be added to his
ever growing list. I may even sneak a look at the Dream Toys 2013 list which
will be released by Argos in November.
This year I'm not worried about money for Christmas (that's all
sorted) I'm worried whether or not we'll be here to do the actual shopping and
enjoy spending time with the kids building up their excitement, worst still -
will we be here on Christmas day. I can't look to Christmas at all; we don't
know what the situation is going to be. But then I feel awful for worrying like
this - because for hundreds of families this is the reality; they will be
spending Christmas in a children's hospital. But these amazingly brave families
won’t moan about their situation, somehow they will find the strength to
celebrate Christmas and make sure their Children can forget for one day that
they are sick and not at home with their Children. Some will be lucky enough to
be allowed home for that one special day.
One thing is certain, whenever the letter arrives and the date is
confirmed – we will move heaven and earth to make sure this Christmas is
perfect.
GM
x
This post was done in collaboration with Argos, who very kindly
donated a toy each to the waiting rooms of Bear and Flamingo Ward at Great
Ormond Street Hospital where Martha Grace has been looked after.
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| These photo's we're taken last Christmas when we had no idea what the year ahead had in store for us. |
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