Desensetized

Once we knew Martha Grace was back on the ward we could relax. We made another Panad and waited 45mins before visiting her so the team could hand over and settle her in.

When I felt brave enough we made our way to her bedspace. 

It's a hell of a thing when the sight of your 16 week old Daughter with her Chest open no longer phases you. But the truth is it's something we've grown used to. Three times she's returned from Theatre this way - we've learnt to expect it now.

I desperately wanted to know how Martha Grace had behaved during the operation as she had been unstable during her last one. The team hadn't mentioned anything during handover to ward staff, but had said she had coped brilliantly with coming off the By-pass machine.

Millrinone was on 0.7 before she went to Theatre, when she came out she was only on 0.5. She was also
only on 0.05 of Adrenaline and her blood pressure was beautiful.

She remained stable for the rest of the evening but I still wasn't happy to leave. After her last op she was unstable during the 1st night so I made the decision to stay the night in Hospital. 

Most of the night was spent drinking panads in the parents room and popping in for updates every hour. She was perfect. No major hiccups all night. By 6am I couldn't stay awake any longer; we'd been up since 5am that day to catch the train and I was coming up to hour 25. Mark had been sent to bed at 11pm so he could take over first thing.

I felt drunk going to bed. When I got up 6 hours later it was as though I'd been to all night party and headed straight to work.

Friday was much the same, they came down some more on her Millrinone and Adrenaline. She had a Vecuronium holiday which only took 3-4hours to wake up from. It's awful seeing your child awake when their chest is open; it becomes frightening when you see their hands make their way to the open chest.

The plan for Friday night was to wean the Adrenaline and get her fluid balance to be negative ready for chest closure on Saturday.

Was I asking too much for Martha Grace to behave two nights on the bounce?

GM

x