A letter to Martha Grace || June 2015

My beautiful brave girl,

I don't know where to begin. You've grown and learnt so many new things since I last wrote you a letter. Each day you become more and more independent, you are the baby of the family but you're really not a baby at all anymore.

Your speech has improved so much, if me or your Daddy say "no" to you - you will always beg "Daddy please" - and Daddy almost always wants to give in to you. Whenever anyone is on the phone you will be standing next to them asking "who's there". You're really nosey too, always asking people "what you doing?"

You've got a nasty streak to you sometimes, you've started slapping and pinching us - I don't know where you've learnt that because your Brother and Sister certainly don't do that. But you think it's funny and always
say "sorry Mammi" so how can I be angry with such a sweet voice and a happy baby girl.

On Saturday the moment we've all been waiting for finally arrived...you finally let go and started walking around the house by yourself. You had been doing it for Daddy and Nainy since Thursday, but as I'd been in work for most of the weekend it wasn't official until Mammi saw you do it. I took a little video of you walking around the house and sent it to everyone. There's no stopping you now, wherever I go around the house you're always right behind me. So what if you were 21 months old before you started walking by yourself - we knew you'd do it in the end...you haven't changed at all - we all know there is no way we can rush you, you will only ever do things in your own time.

But Martha, this week is a very big week for us - we're going to London on Thursday. I haven't let myself think about it too much because I honestly can't begin to imagine what the outcome of your appointment will be. If I start thinking of possible scenarios I start crying with all the worry. I'm not brave enough to type out my predictions on here incase I tempt fate. I'm even dreading having to take you for the ECHO and CT Scan - you were hysterical last time. I can't blame you though - we don't know what you remember from your previous admissions.

But I want you to know that whatever they say, whatever they offer us a plan for you - we will only agree to it if we think it's in your best interest. Whatever lies ahead, we will get you through it - and you my darling girl get us through it.

We love you so much, you are such a strong person and have a lovely nature about you (slapping and pinching aside) - I'm just so sorry that it's your body that's letting you down.

Love you baby girl xxx