A little March update

It's been a funny old month, I didn't really have any plans but it's already the 28th and I don't know where the weeks have gone.

I've fallen off the wagon with my self-care plans though, the worst thing is that I feel dreadful for it. My anxiety is being unreasonable again. Example: as we were leaving the house to go for a little afternoon out with the kids yesterday, my brother was parked outside ours setting up his sat-nav as he was going out for the afternoon which involved motorway driving. I felt sick the whole time we were out and only calmed down when he called me to say he had arrived safely. He's 26.

It seem's the slightest thing can set me off, at home and at work. 

We're coming up to the anniversary of our 20-week scan with Martha Grace. This time 5 years ago, everything was looking perfect for us. We were about to exchange on our first home with our third baby on the way, then, before we knew it the rug was pulled out for underneath us.

Right now, 5 years on - everything is looking pretty perfect again and I'm just waiting for something to come along and take it all away from me. I know this is a completely ridiculous way to live, but unless something is actually going wrong - I'm just waiting for something to go wrong. I can't relax unless something is something to worry about, I guess.

 One thing things for sure though - I am ready for Easter Holidays.

We've had a couple of really sunny days and it's gotten me in the mood for fresh air, family days out and picnics. I can't wait to buy summer clothes and the sun-tan lotions. I love autumn and winter, being cozy and snuggled up at home, but I am ready for summer now.

Yesterday we visited Plas Newydd, which is a National Trust property just down the road from us. The kids have been there with school but I haven't been there since I was at school myself. We spent the afternoon walking around the house and popped into the cafe for a cream tea. Before heading home the kids played at the park to burn off some energy. I even managed to get a few photos of the kids that aren't all bad. 

I have one shift left in work and then I have some annual leave booked. Being a bank holiday weekend means Mark will be off with us too. I'm just hoping my anxiety will be at a level that isn't unbearable and won't take away the enjoyment of the plans we have. 

GM

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