December, usually the happiest month of the year. A busy month filled with shopping trips, school trips to the pantomime, marathon gift wrapping sessions, Christmas shows at school...only just managing to squeeze Daddy's Birthday in a week before Christmas.
After spending Christmas 2013 in Hospital most of you know that I don't hold back on the celebrations, we've been watching Christmas films with hot chocolates with cream & marshmallows and collecting bits for the Christmas Eve basket since we came back from Martha's latest appointment at the end of October.
But this year, our family was dealt a cruel blow when we lost our beloved Grandfather on the 22nd December.
Telling the children was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do as a mother (second only to having Martha having Open Heart Surgery).
I had assumed that age 12, Osh would take it the hardest and the girls would ask a few questions but nor fully understand the implications of what I'd just told them.
Osh lay in my arms and cried, but composed himself after a few minutes; I think he was worried that he was upsetting me. When we told the girls, Martha seemed OK - but Isabella was heartbroken. The tears began to flood immediately and I knew that I'd been wrong in my assumptions.
None of us has really been in the mood to celebrate this week, the pain of losing him still raw and all of a sudden we're trying to work out how to celebrate our first Christmas without him. His Christmas gift is still under my tree, it will never be opened. To be honest, had it not been for the children we all would have been happy to cancel Christmas this year.
These three have been little diamonds this past week, I don't know what I would have done without them. A big shout out to Daddy to for being solo parenting so that I could be with my family.
Family is everything.
GM
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