My mobile phone rings, it's the primary school. My immediate thought is always "What's wrong with Martha?"
Martha's health and welfare are constantly on my mind, a simple cough can become a chest infection and then Pneumonia in my mind. My worry for the other two isn't the same, I worry that Osh has remembered all of his books for the day's lessons and that Isabella manages to eat all her packed lunch. But I don't have a medical concern for them, so any call I might get from school can't be that bad, can it?
On Friday I had a call from the school to say that Isabella had fallen and chipped her front tooth. They'd told me that she OK once she'd stopped crying and that she hadn't hurt anywhere else as she fell. Luckily, Mark was home on his lunch break so we decided to make our way to the school to see for ourselves before deciding our next course of action. I remained calm the whole journey to school, even though I had no idea what to expect once we actually got there.
As soon as Isabella saw us waiting for her she burst into tears. She had chipped the whole corner of her front tooth, an adult tooth. We made our way to the Dentist where she's registered but they were closed. We called NHS Direct but they could only give me a number to a Dentist that might be able to give me an emergency appointment on Sunday. We decided to try our luck at Mark's Dentist as they sometimes take NHS patients. They were lovely and she was seen practically straight away. She needed an X-Ray too. Luckily the root of the tooth hadn't cracked however, it hasn't finished growing. She did warn us of the possibility that the nerve has been damaged and if this happens she might lose her tooth and need a false one to replace it. In the grand scheme of things, a tooth is nothing. We've dealt with a child needing heart surgery under GA where the heart is intentionally stopped, with the hope of being able to start it a few hours later. A tooth I can deal with.
We had an appointment for a review this morning and for the tooth to be re-built with white filling if possible. Today I was nervous, it's like my body knew that a procedure was taking place today and all the old "sick to the pit of my stomach" feelings reared their ugly heads. I was petrified the dentist would say the tooth was showing signs of nerve damage and that we would have to go down the route of removing the whole tooth and having a plate inserted. I was worried she'd need injections to numb the area which I find painful enough, how would she cope with it? But also, I was nervous because one of my children was going to be having treatment, the type of treatment is irrelevant.
I think this is what I need to realise; my mind has been taken to such dark places with Martha that it's affected how I feel about my kids being treated by anyone in a clinical capacity. My "fight or flight" response is already engaged. Even before an appointment at the Orthodontist with Osh, I'm nervous. I can't avoid them, I can't run away from them. The kids each need me with them as reassurance for them. Also, I'm pretty sure sending your child in on their own would be frowned upon.
Thankfully everything went well. The tooth hadn't changed colour which means so far, the nerve seems to be OK. They'll take another X-Ray in a few months to see if the root has continued to grow. They were able to rebuild her tooth and it looks perfect. Isabella stayed completely still through the whole procedure, she didn't complain once.
I, however, was glad when it was all over and my little girl had a gleaming smile again. I'm a Medical Mama, a Heart Mom, I am Heart Mammi. This is my life, these appointments will always be tough. But I'll keep facing them...I've got three little humans needing me there with them. I need them.
GM
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